Tuesday, December 31, 2013

2013 in Review

2013 is a year I have been looking forward to for a long time.  The big 30.  Being the youngest of my friends, I watched others meet this milestone with various reactions.  For some, it was depressing event.  Others embraced it with minimal regret.  As for me…I was thrilled.  To me, 30 has long been the ideal age. Old enough for people to take you seriously, but not yet old.  Welcomed as a friend in the older generation, admired and looked up to by the younger.  This is a year that I have looked forward to for years, and have had a lot of expectations riding on it.

To my misfortune, my life hasn't looked like what I imagined when I was a teenager.  My 20's were a disappointment.  Too many moves, not enough career growth, a cheating spouse (and subsequent divorce,) and the heartache of not having children.

My 30's have met me with hope.  In 2013 I took classes focusing on career development.  I married a wonderful man.  I gained three amazing step-kids.  I moved closer to family.  I switched jobs.  I pursued my own interests and tried new things.  My life has become fuller and happier than I could have ever imagined.

At 30, there are new challenges.  There are new hopes.  There are new dreams.  However, there are no set expectations.  I have a mental picture of who I'll be at 47, and the one thing I'm certain of is that my picture is wrong, but reality is probably better.  My goal is to live without regrets, to shape my destiny when possible, bend when needed, and embrace changes and adjustments to the plan.  At 47, I may look back at who I am now and laugh at myself and my perception, the way I do now when I look at my 13 year old self.  At 30, who I am is not as solid as who I was at 13, but I'm ok with that and I am excited to discover all of the "I ams" that I will be.

"Who are you?"
"I--I hardly know, sir, just at present--at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then."
--Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Ch. 5